Search

In darkness eternal, I search for light.
Desperately I search in vein. I have lost everything.
I lament..... the loss of things I never possessed.
Concepts, hopes and wishes.
Reality I saw in others and wished for myself.
I should have known better. I should have known that mine is different.
That I am different.
I ask for much much more.
My greed is infinite. But your mercy is bigger.
I desire so much more than that.
I must give up so much more than that. I understand that now.
My faith is such that I know.
I know without ever seeing, without ever hearing.
I know that there is light.
I know that I must travel longer and farther, but I know the light is there... somewhere
I must look for it. I must find it. I must reach it.
I must sacrifice all these dreams. Earthly dreams.
I search for much more than mere dust.
I search for heaven itself.
I fear that I might never find it.
That I will be plunged into a darker eternity, darker even than my unbearable present.
I fear that I will lose even my faith.
But I trust in your love for me, in your plan for me.
I trust in your mercy, infinite as it is.
You would not let me go.
I don’t deserve it, but I ask for it
Who else would I ask? I need to ask
I need to ask for the impossible.
I plead for the irreplaceable.
I ask because I believe.