The train ride

Every morning I have a routine. I get up, do my bathroom thing, get dressed, realise that I am going to miss my train, run to catch it, get to the train station with plenty of time to spare, the train comes on time... This is where things departed from routine today.

Normally the train is fairly comfortable. I always get a seat, get out my book and immerse myself into it till I get to my station. I usually really enjoy my train journey. It gives me time to think, be alone, expand my mind without the hassles and nagging of life. It's one of the few times of my day when I don't have to live up to some responsibility or expectation. I just get on and it gets me to where I need to go.

Today however to my dismay the train arrived almost full! How could the train be full at my station, this early in the morning? Where did all those people come from? They are not supposed to be there.

Well I had no choice about it; I squeezed on and found a pole to hang onto, along with about six other people stretched out attempting to avoid the need to grab onto someone else's coat instead.

Now in such situations, where everyone is forced to invade others' personal space there are norms and conventions. Understood and unspoken behaviours peculiar to each particular part of the world.

The first rule is to avoid making eye contact with anyone. If you are squeezed together so tightly that you are almost locked in a twenty minute embrace, you don't want to remember what the person looks like, in case you run into them again in another more natural setting. That could be quite awkward. If by accident you happen to make eye contact with someone then politely smile and look away.

Secondly, you never make bored movements, like exhaling loudly, rolling your eyes, fidgeting or anything else to signal to the persons around you that you are uncomfortable about the situation. You are all in the same boat... and although there may be the odd pervert who is having the time of their lives you are better off assuming everyone else is as uncomfortable as you are. For the sake of your own sanity.

Thirdly, you must not talk on the phone. There is nothing worse than being packed into a sardine can with someone speaking loudly in your ear to describe the very situation you are in and explaining how uncomfortable it is... No generally you must pretend this is not happening. You try to make yourself and everyone else around you as comfortable as can be expected by trying not to annoy them. It is the best you can do short of getting off.

Finally, you should realise that if now is when you remember that you haven't had a shower, then it's too late to do anything about it. Don't get out the spray and start masking your BO on the train. Causing others to faint is not an acceptable social practice.

The only option you really have is to simply get off the train... or if you don't care about social acceptance much (which chances are you don't, unless the source of your BO is an early morning bike ride to the train station) then you can pretend you are a mentally disabled homeless person and complain about all the extra people on the train in the morning waking you up and not giving you enough room for your morning wee. That will surely create lots of room for you on the train to be comfortable.

There are other dynamics that also occur. For example there is the inevitable couple who complain to each other about the squeeze and their inability to find something to hold onto. They are really pretending. In fact they couldn't be happier. They have found the perfect excuse to get up close and hold onto each other while imagining that they have avoided the glares of disapproval. Or even better, if you get on the train with someone you fancy. You can use the excuse that "something with four legs is more stable than something with two legs" and happily grab onto them. No one will blame you for it... and you never know, this might just be the catalyst you needed to start that something you've both been secretly hoping for. Just out of consideration for everyone else involved in this hug though, don't start pashing in the carriage!

So here I was on this crowded train, music in my ears (not loud enough for others to hear), eyes closed trying to imagine my next holiday... I was nearly there. I was not uncomfortable. Except for my arm going numb trying to reach for the pole, this wasn't so bad. If only I could move this bag underneath me, then I can get closer to the pole and I won't have to reach any more....

"Excuse me" I said politely to the strange looking woman sitting in front of me "is this your bag?"
My first mistake was attempting to speak to a woman in a bright blue suit, pink shirt and a topless cap with her hair bunched to the top like a palm tree. Her "yes" was very abrupt.
"Would you mind moving it to the other side" I proceeded un-phased by the pink pin on her collar in the shape of a female like you'd find on toilet doors "it's making it very difficult to stand"
"Where would I put it there is no room" she said and continued to read in her hot rod magazine completely ignoring me. It wasn't enough that I was standing and she was sitting, she had to make me stand uncomfortably.
"ok then" I replied "I hope you don't mind when I fall on you". It was a stupid reply, but other standers understood. They sympathised. They gave her looks that she ignored pretending to peer over her magazine. We were banding together, trying to make the best of our misfortune, and no one else could understand that.

We are like that aren't we as people? The less we have the more helpful we try to be towards each other.

I hope that the next time I am sitting; I will remember that there are others not as lucky as me, and I will do what I can to make them more comfortable. If they have to go on their journey with less than me, then I will try my best not to make it harder for them... I will move my things.